


Morning Gossip

by ranguvar82



Series: Silence and Strength [26]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Crowley is a local cryptid, Gen, POV Outsider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:34:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23281060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ranguvar82/pseuds/ranguvar82
Summary: Denise Carter sighed to herself as she arranged the sandwiches in the display. This village was pretty nice, as most villages went.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Silence and Strength [26]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1630903
Comments: 24
Kudos: 256





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place before PARDON US, BUT THAT'S OUR TRAUMATIZED DEMON in continuity. (Old Lady isn't Tourist Lady, in other words)

Morning Gossip

Denise Carter sighed to herself as she arranged the display of sandwiches in the glass counter of The Speckled Giraffe. They all looked so good! Miss Darcy(“Call me Evelyn, dear, Miss makes me feel so old”) was a very creative cook, and she was more than happy to show Denise a few tricks of the trade.

Denise and her parents had moved to this village three weeks ago, and already she felt more at home than she ever had in Cambridge. Dad’s doctor had told him that the move would be good for his health, and he had packed up the family and set off, saying something about a village that his Gran had taken him to once that was really lovely. It had turned out to be this one, and they had found themselves a lovely little cottage.

At first, the sixteen year old had protested mightily at being separated from her friends and social life in Cambridge to come to a stupid, small backwater village in the middle of nowhere. She had stewed the whole way, only perking up slightly when she saw their cottage. Denise had to admit, it was pretty nice. It was on several acres, and she could see the remnants of what was once a pretty big garden. Maybe she could get one going again. She had briefly wondered who lived in the cottage she could see on the horizon about a half mile distant.

The sound of the door opening brought her back to the present. “Dahlia! Hey!” Denise stood, wiping non existent dirt off her hands. She had met Dahlia Richards shortly after moving here, when Denise had gone into her dad’s plant shop looking for stuff to start a garden with. Dahlia was the same age, and the two girls had immediately decided to be friends. “Lemme guess, you want a breakfast sandwich, hold the bacon, add extra ham, light toasted. Right?”

Dahlia laughed. “Right. However did you guess?” Denise rolled her eyes in a friendly way.

“Well, you only ever order the same thing when you come in. Though why you love ham and not bacon is weird. They’re both from the same animal.”

“So are pig’s feet and Evelyn doesn’t even sell those.” Both girls made an ‘Ew’ face, then Denise set about prepping Dahlia’s breakfast. Dahlia slid onto a stool at the counter.

“Where’s Evelyn?”

“Said she’d be in later. Had to take the kittens to Maud. Check up time.” Denise placed the bread in the toaster, then buttered the pan for the eggs. “Two eggs, right?”

“Yeah. How are the kittens, anyway?”

“Doing great, from what Evelyn says. She...” Denise placed the finished sandwich in front of Dahlia, put the carton of eggs back in the fridge, then turned to answer. Her voice died in her throat. “Uhh….” How had she not heard the door open? The bell over it was loud enough to wake the devil himself. “I...”

Dahlia blinked at her. “Denise, what on earth is the matter?” Denise just gulped and pointed. Frowning, Dahlia turned, her face lighting up. “Tony!”

‘Tony’ grimaced at the other girl. Dahlia grinned and bit into her sandwich. Denise stared. Whoever this Tony person was, they were...incredibly sexy. Okay, so they had some really awful looking scars on their throat, and a bunch more on their (very muscular) arms, but they were dressed in a really nice black shirt, really, REALLY tight pants, and had some very fashionable sunglasses. Plus Denise had always been a sucker for gingers, and this person’s hair was the reddest she’d ever seen. She felt herself flushing a little. “H...hello, welcome to the Giraffe, where we build sandwiches that go to the Heavens. What can I do for you?” A tattoo. He had a snake tattoo on his face. SO HOT.

‘Tony’ grinned at her, showing off amazingly white teeth, and she almost swooned. He reached into the jeans pocket and pulled out a notepad and pen, scribbling in it for a few seconds before handing it over.

‘Two breakfast sandwiches, one with extra eggs, both on a croissant. And extra butter on one.’ Denise nodded. Even the handwriting was sexy.

‘Tony’ tore off another piece of paper, handing it to Dahlia. She read it, smirking.

“Oh, come off it. You know you don’t mind it that much, Anthony.” She took another bite. “Great job, Denise.”

Anthony frowned, sticking out his tongue. Dahlia made a face at him, then grinned. “How’s Ezra?” Anthony gave her two thumbs up. “Cool. Mom keeps asking when you two are gonna finally give in and come to the Summer Fest.”

‘Maybe we will. Az..Ezra’s been dying to test his new brioche recipe on people, and the Fest seems like the perfect place.’

Dahlia’s face lit up. “That’d be awesome. Ezra’s an awesome cook.”

“Who’s Ezra?”

Tony grinned, handing her another piece of paper. ‘My husband. Oh, and I’m Anthony (NOT BLOODY TONY) J(and don’t you dare ask me what it stands for) Crowley. Well, Anthony when I’m a he. Antonia(again, NOT BLOODY TONIA) when I’m a she, and when I’m a they you can call me Crowley.’ He scribbled on another paper. ‘Also, your eggs are starting to burn.’

Denise yelped and pulled the pan off the burner before it could catch fire. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, I’m so sorry, I’ll make you another sandwich, no charge, shit shit shit...”

Tony snapped his fingers. Denise blinked, then gaped at the eggs. “Whuh...but...how...” Shaking herself, she assembled the sandwiches, placing them in to go cartons before passing them over. “Uhh...that’ll be six pounds.” Tony paid and left, his hips swiveling in a way that made Denise blush, the bell above the door still oddly silent. “Dahlia, what the HELL?”

Dahlia giggled. “Let me guess, the eggs were fine?” Denise nodded. “Yeah, Tony does that. He and his husband are our local cryptids.”

“WHUH?”

The other girl nodded, as if this was common. “Yeah, most of us are pretty sure they’re either Fae or something else. They’re not human, that’s for sure. Ezra, that’s Tony’s husband, looks like he stepped out of a Dickens novel. Man has a bastard streak though.”

Denise gaped at her. “Wait. I think I met Ezra. Yeah, I did! He tore this old lady a new one for screaming at me on my first day. But he was so sweet to me!”

“Yeah, Ezra’s pretty nice if he likes you. If he doesn’t, though...ooh boy. Tony’s bristly, but once you get to know him he’s really awesome. He’s got mad gardening skills, too. And no, you aren’t the only one who swoons when he walks. Those hips of his could drive an angel to sin, my mom says.”

Denise blushed harder, then changed the subject, gesturing to her throat. “So how’d Tony...um…?”

“No one knows. All Ezra will say is that it happened a long time ago. If you ask Tony, he gets real upset. Whatever it was, it still effects him.” She took a final bite. “Still, we’re really lucky to have them both.”

“So...do they know that the village knows…?”

Dahlia laughed. “I’m sure they do, but we’re not about to spoil our luck by letting them know we know they know we know. You know?”

“No.”


	2. Cryptid Regulars

Morning Gossip

Chapter Two: Cryptid Regulars

The Giraffe was bustling. Denise wiped her forehead, blinking the sweat away from her eyes, before smiling at the person at the counter. “Hey, Tom. You want...” she put her hands to her temple, pretending to concentrate hard. “A roast beef on rye, Swiss cheese, extra onion, no mayo. With chips and apple cider.” Tom laughed and nodded.

“Right as always. How do you guess?”

“It’s a gift.” Denise scribbled down the order, passing it over the back counter to Evelyn. “Roast on rye!”

“Coming right up!”

Tom went and sat at his usual booth by the window, looking out at the scenery. “Hey, Denise, take down the bell. Tonia and Ezra are heading this way.”

“Oh!” Denise ran over to the door, carefully taking down the old bell that hung overhead. She opened the door with a flourish, grinning at the two of them.“Hey!”

“Denise, how lovely to see you again, my dear!” Ezra Fell beamed at her, and she couldn’t help but smile back. He was like the ideal version of everyone’s grandfather, always sunny and happy, and Denise adored him. In the beginning, when she was still new and sometimes mucked up orders, he was always patient and polite, never once making her feel bad for getting stuff wrong. The fact that he dressed up as a real life Dickens character only served to add to his somewhat odd appeal.

Denise still remembered that day he had called that tourist stupid in the most politely British way possible. She had had to bite her lips to keep from laughing. “You too. And...Tonia, hey!”

Tonia sighed heavily, rolled her eyes, and nodded. She was wearing a black blouse and a red skirt so tight Denise wasn’t quite sure how she was walking, plus black and red heels that made her even taller than she usually was. She gestured to the door, and Denise realized she hadn’t moved.

“OH! Sorry, come on in. Your table’s ready and waiting for you.” She stepped aside, letting them in, and pointedly did NOT watch Tonia walk towards the table. Denise had found out recently she was pan, but still, Tonia was like, twice her age and happily married.

Still, a little crush was harmless, right? Even if said crush was probably not even a person.

Yeah. Denise still found that bizarre.. And the weirder thing was, most of the other villagers seemed unfazed by it.

She had conducted a very scientific survey(meaning she had gone to nearly everyone and blurted out “What do you think Ezra and Crowley are?”) and had a notebook full of ideas, speculations, and rumors.

“Gay*.” This had been several of the villagers, and dismissed out of hand because DUH. (*Possibly ace/pan as well.)

‘Fairies.’ This seemed to be the most common answer, though no one was really quite sure just what sort. A few of the villagers opined that Ezra was some sort of Fae Lord and Tony his Consort, others said it was the other way around, and a few thought they were just ordinary Fae that got bored and decided to come live among mortals.

‘Vampire.’ This was for Tony/Tonia, and once again dismissed when they were seen consuming copious amounts of cherries. Also, the whole ‘walking in the sun bit.’

‘Immortals.’ Well, yeah, seeing as how A. Not human, and B. Talked about history stuff like they’d been there. (Ezra had gotten into a passionate argument with Barry Dale, the local ‘historian’, on the politics of ancient Greece)

‘Angels’. This seemed to track with all the good luck in the village, and the rumor that Tommy Green had seen Mr. Fell and Mx. Crowley flying. Though they could also be bird people.

Denise finished making their sandwiches and took them over. “Here we go. All ready.”

Ezra beamed wider. “It looks wonderful, my dear. You’ve done a marvelous job, as always.” Tonia grinned, giving her two thumbs up.

Denise felt her spirits lift. In the end, it didn’t really matter what they were. All she knew was that they were both pretty awesome.


End file.
